Guilt kills the unwell

It’s Thursday. I went to see my surgeon yesterday for my check-up. I checked my blood and it seems that it’s too thin. The bump on my knee? I showed it to him and he wondered why I didn’t see him sooner. He said as my blood was too thin, the slightest knock or bump would result in bruising, or worse, bleeding – which was what happened to my left knee.

He looked at me and said I needed to stay home to recuperate as I was in no state to walk. He heard of my going to work on Tuesday and said I was being idiotic. Well, he didn’t say idiotic, but he said I should’ve been at home to rest.

So know comes the part where he was going to write out my medical leave certificate. He asked me how many days I wanted to rest.

Prof.: Okay, so how many days do you want?
Me: How many do you think I need?
Hubby: Prof., this girl feels guilty for taking leave off work.
Prof.: Guilty? But why? You need to get off your feet. Minimal activities. Limit your walking.
Me: Okay, maybe a few days…. (still not feeling so sure)
Hubby: Hmm, maybe till Friday Prof.?
Prof.: Friday? (laughs) Okay, since you’re going to feel guilty taking leave, I’m going to decide how long you need to stay home. And since it’s an official instruction from me, I don’t think you should feel guilty. So I decide okay?
Me: Okay…. (gulp)
Prof.: Alright then. I’m writing this MC from today till next week, hmmm the 30th.
Me: That long?
Prof.: Yes, then you come back for another check-up and we’ll see how your blood is by then. Okay?
Me: Alright then…. (guilty as hell)

So here I am stuck at home doing nothing but having meals and performing prayers and watching tv. Thank goodness for the Internet. That is, when I have the energy to sit at this desk….

*Tsk tsk*

Wonder when all this guilt will go away…..

Of malaise and maladies

You know the saying, “don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”? Well, that’s how I’ve been feeling for the past few days. I have been experiencing very great pain in my left knee. It’s a bit swollen, as a result of banging it (ouch!) on the leg of the table. I asked my doctor what to do about it, and he said that all I needed was rest and less walking. Yeah, right. And I just happen to be a rich Madame who does nothing all day but sits at home and watch tv. Along with other people in this world, I happen to work for a living okay….

I digress… So back to that saying, I haven’t been able to walk properly or sit or sleep at ease for that matter. I have constant aching and find the simplest task like walking a tremendous battle. Imagine having to walk to the bathroom from my cubicle. The thought alone is enough to cut down the skips to my loo to three per day. I go up the stairs at home one at a time. This alone takes me two minutes. I cringe and wince every time I ‘misplace’ my left leg. I cannot bend my knees freely and I cannot sit at the desk for long periods. I slouch and lean back and look really lousy and unproductive. I really appreciate my legs now. I miss them to bits...

So why come to work? I’ve already missed yesterday. Since there’s nothing my specialist can do about it, I cannot simply march into a clinic and see another doctor and demand an MC. See, going to a clinic and seeing a doctor who’s not familiar with my medical history would cause several problems for me.

1. The doctor would first freak out upon looking at my pale face and then proceed to demand to know what’s wrong with me. After hearing my explanation, he shakes his head in disbelief and for the rest of the conversation, doesn’t listen to what I’m trying to tell him, because he’s made up his mind about me already.
2. The doctor would suggest I quickly get myself admitted into the hospital for blood transfusion, which I do not need, but is insisted upon by the doctor who doesn’t trust me and thinks as a professional, he would know best.
3. I try to state my points and counter his suggestion, at which point he will call in my hubby and tells hubby to ‘advise’ me to follow his instructions.
4. We feel let down by the so-called professional who doesn’t seem to be in a rational state of mind and refuses to help with the current situation, and instead demands action on past medical symptoms.
5. We leave the clinic, fuming mad at the doctor.

So that’s why I’m waiting till tomorrow to see my specialist. And that’s why I had to come to work today. And that’s why yesterday I had to take emergency instead of medical leave.

And should there be, by any freak chance, any doctors reading this, please know that sometimes, you don’t know best.

SMS your astronaut?

As I listened to the radio this morning, I heard the duo DJ mentioning (the government’s?) plans to have Malaysians sms the person who will be the first Malaysian astronaut. Okay, there’s stupid and then there’s stooooopid. This one takes the cake.

What were the people involved in this matter thinking at the time? Were they high or something? Malaysians and sms? That has got to be the worst pairing up of all time. Doesn’t the flood of so-called ‘reality shows’ on tv specifically show that when sms-ing, the person who eventually emerges the winner does not necessarily be the best? He or she could be the most kind / pretty / handsome / rich / whatever but not really the best person for the job.

And for goodness sakes, we’re talking about something serious here. Malaysia’s first astronaut. Not some half-past six event. It’s a milestone, an achievement so great for all of us, that it should not be placed in the same field as, hmmm, I don’t know, “Mencari Angkasawan”. Or some crap like that.

The whole idea of using the sms makes the whole astronaut thing frivolous and foolish. It loses all its credibility. What a joke.

Shoot don't run

From the previous post which lists the ten things that I might do during the weekend, I only managed to do the first two items, but I’ve started thinking about number 10. Well, I have a rough idea as to what I want to do anyway.

I feel so sleepy now. I was typing and re-doing the PowerPoint presentation and I nearly dozed off. It was raining quite heavily here after lunch. So heavy that there may be some flooding happening at some parts of the campus. Of course this didn’t happen, but it could have happened….

Hubby and I had tremendous fun at The Curve on Saturday. They were having some kind of promo for some bank’s credit card. It was fun for us because it’s been awhile since we went out together, just shopping or window-shopping or whatever. We had fun picking out toys for alesha too. I went wild looking at all the stuff that they’ve got for babies now. Fantastic!

Yesterday, we were at mama’s house and Urban Legends was playing on Astro. So we watched UL while eating ice-cream. Yummm.

You know how it is in horror movies or thrillers. They have the bad guy / ghost / deranged killer chasing the victim, the bad guy just walks / floats / prances and yet manages to catch up with the hapless victim who runs and runs and runs and falls down and runs some more. Where’s the logic in this? So I asked hubby:

m: Eh, why the victim runs and runs, but the killer just walks slowly? And still the victim kena stab?
h: You mana tau… the killer also runs.
m: I don’t see the killer running pun…
h: Of course not. When the camera is on him, he walks lah. The killer runs when the camera is not shooting him lah….
m: Haiyah…..

So tak masuk akal….

Budgeting my weekend

I’ve got a new task today. Budget! So I will be preparing the budget for the small unit that we have. And it’s budgeting, baby! All maths and money! Woohoo! What fun!

Oh all right, so I exaggerate. It’s not that great. Well, hey, at least it’s something to do. Okay, now that we’re back from euphoria, it’s back to business. There are so many things to do this weekend. Let’s see now….

1. Service my car
2. Get a gift for baby alesha
3. Finish my book
4. Reorganise my wardrobe
5. Buy another book
6. Catch a movie at the GSC OU cinema
7. Go shopping for some clothes
8. Treat hubby and myself to a grand dinner
9. Go on a picnic
10. Design a web site

Right. Actually only 1, 2 and 3 are true. And maybe 4 or 5, one of which I will try to do. The rest is just make-believe. I just thought it’d be fun to do those stuff. And also to tiru Simon's list of tens. Jangan marah ah Simon! Ha-ha!

To all those who read this blog, have a great weekend ahead!
Ta-taa!