Nice? Who're you calling nice?

Recently I went to a seminar on Systems Thinking and how it can help solve most of our complex problems. It was a great seminar and I think it would be beneficial to everyone. During the seminar, I found out that my main problem at work was caused by a negative archetype called the Attractiveness Principle.

And what is the Attractiveness Principle you ask? Trying to please everyone, because saying no is too hard to do. The mental model here is: We must please everybody all of the time.

How do you like that? Never in a million years would I have that of myself…. Being too nice and accommodating? But after thinking about it, I realised that it was somewhat true. So now I have to work on its positive archetype, which is to Be My Best. The mental model here is: We make choices about what we can and cannot do, knowing that it may not please everybody all of the time.

Now that is surely something that I need to practise and believe in. No more being the doormat and saying yes to everyone at work. There are times when I just need to say no.