Thursday, September 29

Go to Sydney to kick some....

Wow, it's been a while since I last blogged. I have been at home, nursing my knee. Watching tons of tv, playing games on the pc. After playing all those games, I realised that I'm particularly good at one card game. Cheat. (Go figure....) And I'm good at smashing things up. Haha, aiming is bad, but smashing and breaking down stuff, lemme at it!

Yesterday I got bored of Astro and so I rummaged through my bro's DVDs. I saw the complete second season of Alias. Hmmm, what good is it watching the second season if you don't watch the first right? I mean, I hate that.... So I found the whole first season DVDs and started watching them yesterday. So far I've gone through about 9 episodes. Not bad.

But answer me this. Sydney Bristow's a double agent, right? And, she's a post-grad student. Where the heck does she find the time to do her assignments? I mean, sure they show her sending in her papers to her professors (albeit missing the deadline a bit), but when, in between all those globe-trotting, weapon-carrying, wig-wearing, kick-bad-ass-fighting, double-"agent-ing" escaping-from-evil acts does she find time to actually sit and type her essays? I mean, we're not talking about high school homework here, we're talking big-time post-grad academia essays.... *sigh* The magic of Hollywood....

So if anyone knows how we can achieve that in real life, drop me a line. Meanwhile, I'll go back to sitting glassy eyed in front of the screen, watching Sydney kick some ass.

Friday, September 23

Diary of the Sick and Bored

It’s Friday, finally. Now that I have to stay home, I don’t have that many choices on things to do. My day would probably be broken up into these segments:

- Surf the Net
- Watch Astro
- Play games online
- Play SIMS on PS2
- Watch DVDs
- Surf the Net
- Play with Neopets
- Wait for my sister to come home from school
- Wait for my hubby to come home from work

Intersperse that with the usual routine of meals and prayers, and you’ll one of my days at home.

See I don’t have any book to read at the moment. I want to get Grisham’s latest, but I’m under house-arrest, remember? Well, I still have some more sick days to go. Might as well enjoy it right? Before I know it, I have to go back to work.

Okay, time to surf….

Thursday, September 22

Guilt kills the unwell

It’s Thursday. I went to see my surgeon yesterday for my check-up. I checked my blood and it seems that it’s too thin. The bump on my knee? I showed it to him and he wondered why I didn’t see him sooner. He said as my blood was too thin, the slightest knock or bump would result in bruising, or worse, bleeding – which was what happened to my left knee.

He looked at me and said I needed to stay home to recuperate as I was in no state to walk. He heard of my going to work on Tuesday and said I was being idiotic. Well, he didn’t say idiotic, but he said I should’ve been at home to rest.

So know comes the part where he was going to write out my medical leave certificate. He asked me how many days I wanted to rest.

Prof.: Okay, so how many days do you want?
Me: How many do you think I need?
Hubby: Prof., this girl feels guilty for taking leave off work.
Prof.: Guilty? But why? You need to get off your feet. Minimal activities. Limit your walking.
Me: Okay, maybe a few days…. (still not feeling so sure)
Hubby: Hmm, maybe till Friday Prof.?
Prof.: Friday? (laughs) Okay, since you’re going to feel guilty taking leave, I’m going to decide how long you need to stay home. And since it’s an official instruction from me, I don’t think you should feel guilty. So I decide okay?
Me: Okay…. (gulp)
Prof.: Alright then. I’m writing this MC from today till next week, hmmm the 30th.
Me: That long?
Prof.: Yes, then you come back for another check-up and we’ll see how your blood is by then. Okay?
Me: Alright then…. (guilty as hell)

So here I am stuck at home doing nothing but having meals and performing prayers and watching tv. Thank goodness for the Internet. That is, when I have the energy to sit at this desk….

*Tsk tsk*

Wonder when all this guilt will go away…..

Tuesday, September 20

Of malaise and maladies

You know the saying, “don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”? Well, that’s how I’ve been feeling for the past few days. I have been experiencing very great pain in my left knee. It’s a bit swollen, as a result of banging it (ouch!) on the leg of the table. I asked my doctor what to do about it, and he said that all I needed was rest and less walking. Yeah, right. And I just happen to be a rich Madame who does nothing all day but sits at home and watch tv. Along with other people in this world, I happen to work for a living okay….

I digress… So back to that saying, I haven’t been able to walk properly or sit or sleep at ease for that matter. I have constant aching and find the simplest task like walking a tremendous battle. Imagine having to walk to the bathroom from my cubicle. The thought alone is enough to cut down the skips to my loo to three per day. I go up the stairs at home one at a time. This alone takes me two minutes. I cringe and wince every time I ‘misplace’ my left leg. I cannot bend my knees freely and I cannot sit at the desk for long periods. I slouch and lean back and look really lousy and unproductive. I really appreciate my legs now. I miss them to bits...

So why come to work? I’ve already missed yesterday. Since there’s nothing my specialist can do about it, I cannot simply march into a clinic and see another doctor and demand an MC. See, going to a clinic and seeing a doctor who’s not familiar with my medical history would cause several problems for me.

1. The doctor would first freak out upon looking at my pale face and then proceed to demand to know what’s wrong with me. After hearing my explanation, he shakes his head in disbelief and for the rest of the conversation, doesn’t listen to what I’m trying to tell him, because he’s made up his mind about me already.
2. The doctor would suggest I quickly get myself admitted into the hospital for blood transfusion, which I do not need, but is insisted upon by the doctor who doesn’t trust me and thinks as a professional, he would know best.
3. I try to state my points and counter his suggestion, at which point he will call in my hubby and tells hubby to ‘advise’ me to follow his instructions.
4. We feel let down by the so-called professional who doesn’t seem to be in a rational state of mind and refuses to help with the current situation, and instead demands action on past medical symptoms.
5. We leave the clinic, fuming mad at the doctor.

So that’s why I’m waiting till tomorrow to see my specialist. And that’s why I had to come to work today. And that’s why yesterday I had to take emergency instead of medical leave.

And should there be, by any freak chance, any doctors reading this, please know that sometimes, you don’t know best.

Wednesday, September 14

SMS your astronaut?

As I listened to the radio this morning, I heard the duo DJ mentioning (the government’s?) plans to have Malaysians sms the person who will be the first Malaysian astronaut. Okay, there’s stupid and then there’s stooooopid. This one takes the cake.

What were the people involved in this matter thinking at the time? Were they high or something? Malaysians and sms? That has got to be the worst pairing up of all time. Doesn’t the flood of so-called ‘reality shows’ on tv specifically show that when sms-ing, the person who eventually emerges the winner does not necessarily be the best? He or she could be the most kind / pretty / handsome / rich / whatever but not really the best person for the job.

And for goodness sakes, we’re talking about something serious here. Malaysia’s first astronaut. Not some half-past six event. It’s a milestone, an achievement so great for all of us, that it should not be placed in the same field as, hmmm, I don’t know, “Mencari Angkasawan”. Or some crap like that.

The whole idea of using the sms makes the whole astronaut thing frivolous and foolish. It loses all its credibility. What a joke.

Monday, September 12

Shoot don't run

From the previous post which lists the ten things that I might do during the weekend, I only managed to do the first two items, but I’ve started thinking about number 10. Well, I have a rough idea as to what I want to do anyway.

I feel so sleepy now. I was typing and re-doing the PowerPoint presentation and I nearly dozed off. It was raining quite heavily here after lunch. So heavy that there may be some flooding happening at some parts of the campus. Of course this didn’t happen, but it could have happened….

Hubby and I had tremendous fun at The Curve on Saturday. They were having some kind of promo for some bank’s credit card. It was fun for us because it’s been awhile since we went out together, just shopping or window-shopping or whatever. We had fun picking out toys for alesha too. I went wild looking at all the stuff that they’ve got for babies now. Fantastic!

Yesterday, we were at mama’s house and Urban Legends was playing on Astro. So we watched UL while eating ice-cream. Yummm.

You know how it is in horror movies or thrillers. They have the bad guy / ghost / deranged killer chasing the victim, the bad guy just walks / floats / prances and yet manages to catch up with the hapless victim who runs and runs and runs and falls down and runs some more. Where’s the logic in this? So I asked hubby:

m: Eh, why the victim runs and runs, but the killer just walks slowly? And still the victim kena stab?
h: You mana tau… the killer also runs.
m: I don’t see the killer running pun…
h: Of course not. When the camera is on him, he walks lah. The killer runs when the camera is not shooting him lah….
m: Haiyah…..

So tak masuk akal….

Friday, September 9

Budgeting my weekend

I’ve got a new task today. Budget! So I will be preparing the budget for the small unit that we have. And it’s budgeting, baby! All maths and money! Woohoo! What fun!

Oh all right, so I exaggerate. It’s not that great. Well, hey, at least it’s something to do. Okay, now that we’re back from euphoria, it’s back to business. There are so many things to do this weekend. Let’s see now….

1. Service my car
2. Get a gift for baby alesha
3. Finish my book
4. Reorganise my wardrobe
5. Buy another book
6. Catch a movie at the GSC OU cinema
7. Go shopping for some clothes
8. Treat hubby and myself to a grand dinner
9. Go on a picnic
10. Design a web site

Right. Actually only 1, 2 and 3 are true. And maybe 4 or 5, one of which I will try to do. The rest is just make-believe. I just thought it’d be fun to do those stuff. And also to tiru Simon's list of tens. Jangan marah ah Simon! Ha-ha!

To all those who read this blog, have a great weekend ahead!

Thursday, September 8

Work, I need you

Okay, it’s close to 2.30, just after lunch. I stare at this monitor and don’t know what to do. I look at my in tray and it’s empty. I look at my filing tray, and it too was empty. *Sigh* This is going to be a long afternoon, and 5.30pm is just so far away.

I’m so bored out of my wits now. I went to the secretary and asked perhaps the boss had set out a task for me or left me with something to do. No such luck. It looks like I’m just going to spend my time surfing. But then, it doesn’t feel right to surf the afternoon away. After all, I’m still in the office. Wait, maybe I can re-arrange stuff in my cubicle. Oh no, I just did that this morning.

(sits backs in chair, looks around office)
*blink. blink*

I’m a bored person sitting at my desk
(types out entry, pretending it’s work)
*squint. squint*

(scratches head and folds arms across chest)
*roll eyes all the way round*

I’m feeling so drowsy now
(eyelids droop and big yawn escapes mouth)
*blink. blink. blink*

Aiyah, bosanlah!
I’m gonna find some work to do.

Wednesday, September 7

'Chick lit' and other crap they tell you

Yesterday hubby and I went to MPH MidValley. It was already 9.45 when we got there so it was about to close. I saw that they had Grisham’s The Broker out in paperback already. Can’t wait to get that. Also want to buy Cecilia Ahern’s second novel. MPH was having this promotion for female readers I guess, since it was called A Female Affaire (or something to that effect).

Seems that you can get a 20% discount from buying books in the ‘chick lit’ genre. I was a bit taken aback, as the term ‘chick lit’ is used in a bookstore. I mean, it would sound ok if it were in an informal setting, but a bookstore?

‘Chick lit’ is derogatory to me. Plain gender biased. In this era of equality and political correctness, how can we allow such a term to be used? And in a bookstore for goodness sakes! This is where we congregate to gain knowledge, to broaden horizons, to learn to be colour blind and impartial to race, religion, creed and nationality. And yet, right there in the middle of store, smack! An unfavourable term clearly used to disparage female readers.

I know that I have been guilty of being a book snob and have sometimes considered certain books ‘fluffy’. However, remember that that’s just me and my weird expectations from myself (which I am trying to overcome, even as we speak). But for the-powers-that-be to lump all books by female authors, more so those books done up with colourful covers with a comic feel, into one big dumping ground and bestowing the title ‘chick lit’ really makes smoke come out of my ears.

Do you mean to say that if women were to read, these were the only kinds of books that were suitable for them? Are you saying that we women do not have enough gray matter to be able to read other books? You mean the other books are for the ‘big boys’ only? For serious mature readers? What crap!

And to the bookstores, could you please stop using this term. It not only ridicules; it also deters female readers from buying the books. Readers who wish to be taken seriously might not want to purchase books that are considered frivolous and brainless.

I understand that bookstores may use the term to describe the type of subjects or messages that the books may convey, but seriously - ‘chick lit’?

What next? Geek lit? Black books? White trash? Pulp fiction?

Tuesday, September 6

Lazy sick-o

I missed a blog entry yesterday. I try to write from Mondays to Fridays and the weekends are spent away from the computer. But I missed yesterday because I was feeling really tired and lethargic in the office.

I did things with robot-like movements, doing them for the sake of doing them and getting things done. No thought went into my work. None, whatsoever. This made one of the tasks really tough. I wanted to wrap up a presentation I prepared since like ages ago, but I just couldn’t think straight. I read the same frigging slides over and over and yet there was no coherent train of thought. Zip. Nada. So I chucked that out. For a day anyway. Lucky me I had set out my deadlines a week earlier. Yeah… what’s up with that huh? Setting deadlines for myself a week earlier and then working like a ‘lipas kudung’ trying to get it done, and when it’s done, I smile at how I still have one week to do the bloody job. I really must be getting crazy after all….

So today I’m at home because I feel a cold coming. I hate moving about because I feel so lazy. And that’s another thing. It could be that I’m really tired or exhausted but I still call it being plain lazy. Hubby told me that I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I guess that I am. I will never admit that I’m tired. I’m always “just plain lazy”.

Unconsciously I must have set these rules, this dogma, if you will, that I must never let others see how weak I am. I have had such a trying time growing up with my blood disorder, this affliction that makes others see me in a different light altogether. People used to ask me why I was so pale. Does it hurt? Do you feel tired? Breathless? The questions didn’t seem to stop. It made me feel really helpless and weak to have to answer ‘yes’ to any of these questions, that I simply pushed all these thoughts to the farthest recesses of my mind and forget about them. So anytime I feel a teeny bit tired, I brush it aside and say, “Man, I feel so lazy today”.

You know what? Typing all this and sitting at this table in this room with the heat emanating through the windows makes me so lazy. I think I’ll stop now. Hope to be back to work tomorrow, if I don’t get too lazy again….

Friday, September 2

UM: Fashion Passion

I went out for lunch today, and my eyes lit up at the sight of little tables with gleaming bracelets on them. There were necklaces and brooches and earrings and tons of other stuff. It reminded me of the time when I was in UM. Man, the things I wore at the time… These were some of my essential items during my uni years.

I bought an Eastpak backpack that was black with brown leather trim. I used it since my asasi days all through my final year. Oooh, how I loved that backpack. It went with me to Sydney and LA and Orlando, Florida. Anyway, that backpack stored my books and pencil case and organiser.

We had none of these PDAs. It was a filofax kind of organiser, where we actually had to use a pen to write in. I remember mine was a colourful one – hey I was 19 ok. Anyway, I bought that and whaddaya know some girls copied me.

The staple of every uni student, mine came in dark blue, light blue, and black. I wore jeans with t-shirts, blouses, button-down ladies shirts, and men’s shirts.

I had lots of button-down long-sleeved shirts. I had many in white but with different designs – eyelet, embroidered, fitted, men’s cut, etc. They are so versatile and can be dressed up or dressed down anytime.

Denim jacket
My faithful jacket, which also travelled with me everywhere. I know you must be thinking this girl’s crazy for wearing a denim jacket in Malaysia’s weather. But it was about style, man…. I wore that jacket and it was a statement for me. I wore it with my jeans and even with my long dress. I looked really cool and funky, even if I do say so myself (angkat bakul a bit). Of course after people got tired of giving me funny looks, they also jumped onto the bandwagon. Hah! I remember I actually bought a men’s jacket, because the ladies’ was cropped and didn’t look cool to me.

I had a dark blue round neck sweater and I always paired it with my jeans and a button-down long sleeved white shirt. If I did not wear it, I would tie it around my waist. Whenever I wore this ensemble, one of my friends would always holler and call out “hey, preppy!”

I had my ever-reliable brown suede Reeboks, my dark brown sandals, my black Mary-Janes, my white leather slip-ons, and my favourite pair of espadrilles with straps that go around my ankles and calves. Oh and I had these pair of dark-blue mules. Most comfortable pair ever. I wore them like forever. Really worth the RM70+ I paid for them.

Silver rings were my everyday must-have. I wore rings on all fingers except my thumb and little fingers. Yup, on both my right and left hands.

I had a few of those necklaces that were made famous by Jen Aniston from Friends. It was those y-shaped thingies made from tiny colourful beads on a string. I also had those bead-bar necklaces with letters in small cubes. I was very adventurous then in terms of trying out new fads. Once my friends saw these, they asked me where I got them. So I gladly shared.

I wore the whole range what-have-yous. I wore shoulder sweepers, studs, pearls, plastic, metal, hoops big and small and cheap stuff and expensive stuff. But my stuff were mostly silver. I don’t like gold, it looks old.

I had a silver guess bracelet type of watch, and a blue and gold and silver swatch with all those buttons and dials, and I had a black leather guess watch with the moon and the sun that went round and round as time goes by. My favourite watch – unfortunately it was stolen.

Thinking back, I think I had a really fun time wearing all kinds of stuff. Thanks to all those American teen magazines that I read, I knew what to buy and what to wear just before it goes big in KL. Once everyone was into something, I’d immediately look for other stuff. Hey, it was no fun being part of the crowd. Standing out was where the fun was!

Thursday, September 1

Aimless meandering

I am so not into it at the moment. Probably one of those days where a little down time is required. Feel like we need a break, we as in hubby and I. I know he’s been working his butt off, staying up every night till three in the morning. Slow down, I tell him. But then again, I understand his urgency and his reasons for doing this. So how do we choose the lesser of two evils?

Wish we could go on a break. It’s been really hectic, these past few months. Really wish we could break the monotony of this routine and do something. Or better yet, do nothing!

This is mudslinger, sighing out….